She is electric

Collection

2008-06-22T12:17:51Z

All my "artwork" here :P So I have it all on one place!!

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Bring the clouds in (5/?)

2008-06-09T18:07:46Z

Title: Bring the clouds in (5/?)
Rating: PG-13 (strong)
Summary: On the outside she was like everyone else, but perfect. But on the inside, behind four walls, she kept a secret she never wanted anyone to know; she was far from perfect.
A/N: I've posted this for feedback, since this is a rought draft, I've just looked through it a few times. So I would absolutely love you if you posted a comment with something that you disliked/liked or; would like to change, didn't understand. Anything fitting into any box, so I can continue with this; I'm stuck at chapter 13. I won't get offended, well I will if you post obnoxious comments, but I expect you to respect me... I just want to know your honest opinion.

Chapter summary: it's after the party and the consequences hits Georgia harder than she could ever imagine

"You're better off leaving me alone"

Chapter five - Disappearing

She took her new IPod that her father had bought the day before, and put the earphones in her ears, and looked herself in the mirror. Tight dark blue jeans, a knee length sleevless silk shirt, it was bigg and didn't show any forms at all, only her breasts, but that didn't matter.

She put on a pink cardi, and eyed her cheek. It was a little redder then usual, but she had covered her other cheek with blush, so it didn't show as much.

She walked down stairs and saw her mother standing in the kitchen drinking coffee, and staring off into the backyard. Georgia tried to think of the last time they were in the backyard. She hadn't used the pool since before she started high school, she was afraid that someone would stop by and see her bruises. Her mother suddenly turned and looked at her.

"Go go to school, I don't want you here" her mother said, and turned back to watching the garden again. Georgia hurried to put on her shoes, and left the house quickly.

She put on her IPod on the first song, and put it as loudly as she could without hurting her ears.

She walked down the street, her eyes fixed on the houses furthest away from her. She passed Carol's house, and saw her in the corner of her eye. She walked quicker, and almost ran to school. When she got to school she was out of breathe, but still hurried up the stair to her locker, and then went out the backway of the school and sat on the steps.

She pulled out the earphones from her ear, and found comfort in the silence, she knew she would hear the bell here, she heard her peers talking inside the school.

She saw Will walking across the grass, and when he reached her he sat down next to her.

"What happened to your cheek?" he asked as soon as he sat down, she turned her head towards him and looked at him.

"Nothing" she replied, and didn't even bother to act like she had no idea what he was talking about.

"It looks like it hurts" he touched it and she winced, turning her head away.

"It hurts when you touch it" she said irritated, and bowed her head so her brown curly hair fell down as a curtain in front of her face.

"What happened?" he asked again, and she looked at him for a few seconds before she looked at her feet.

"Nothing" she replied even more irritated.

"It doesn't look like nothing" she looked up at him, and saw that his bruise under his eye was still there.

"What happened to your eye?" she asked instead of answering him. He sighed and let it go.

"Why are you sitting out here?" he asked, and it was her time to sigh.

"I don't want to see anyone" she looked at him, and hoped he understood that he wasn't anoyone.

"Did something happen on friday night?" he asked genuinly concerned about her.

"No... Saturday morning happened" she got a sullen look on her face, and stood up. "I appreciate your concern... but you're better of leaving me alone... I'm better off too"

"Afraid you'll loose your place in the popular crowd?" she gritted her teeth.

"You're an ass" she pulled the door open just as the bell rang, and hurried to class.

The rest of the day she avoided her friends, she never even saw them, not even their backs once. She stayed behind after school, and when she was sure that all of her friends had left, she ran to her locker and collected all things she would need until the next morning, and then ran home to make sure she was home on time. Her mother hated it when she was home too late, not because she worried, but because she thought that she would put up some trouble.

As she walked into her house she saw a pair of shoes she didn't recognize, and slowly walked into the house, not knowing what to expect.

Her mother was sitting by the kitchen table, and smiled that bored smile she always wore when she tried to be polite. Opposit her a balding man sat, he wore an expensive suit, everything about him looked posh- exept a red earring in his left ear. Georgia smiled, and walked into the kitchen.

"Hi, uncle Charlie" she greeted her uncle shyly. He was the only one in the familly who loved her, or at least cared for her.

"Sheep!" he exclaimed happily, using the nickname only he was allowed to call her- mainly because only her family knew about it and they refused to call her anything else but Georgia or "you". Uncle Charlie embraced her in a hug, it was light because he knew about the bruises that covered her body most of the time. "How are you holding up?" he ruffled her hair and smiled.

"I'm ok" she lied, why she didn't know, maybe it was the presence of her mother, or the fact that she was incapable of telling the truth. "What are you doing here?" she knew it was a rude question, but the last time she saw him was at her grandfathers funeral, and that was almost six years ago.

"Derick wanted me to check how much this house was worth" he said, frowning. Derick was her father."I didn't know you were thinking about moving, Sylvia" he directed the statement to her mother, and she looked up and gave him a faint smile.

"Neither did I until this Saturday when he had suddenly gotten this genius plan" her mother sighed "Derick and his plans" she shook her head, and stood up. She pointed to Georgia that it was her duty to take away the cups of coffee "He's thinking about moving to a place close to LA, so he's at least close to one of the major resturants, and he would home school Georgia" both Charlie and Georgia knew this was bad.

"Georgia can't be home schooled!" Charlie protested "It's a part of the education" he tried to argue, her mother let a faint smile grace her face again.

"Well... then she better behave so we won't have to move" this was a hint, and both Charlie and Georgia knew it.

"I will" Georgia said, but she knew she would never live up to her parents standards of 'behaving', and it would be even harder now when she was missing a part of her memory, an important part of it.

"No you won't, little brat" her mother spat at her and left the room, stomping up the stairs towards her bedroom.

"I'm sorry Sheep" Charlie said genuinly.

"Don't be... it's nothing new" she walked up the stairs too, and shut herself in her room.

She changed into sweat shirt and pants, putting her hair up in a loose bun, relaxing slightly in the more comfterable clothes. She then picked up her homework out of her bag and sat down by the computer and put it on.

She logged on automaticly, and instantly got a message from Baby.

Baby: Where r u? R u sick?

Georgia: No, g2g, bye

She logged off quickly, and opened a document and began to do her homework. It went easier then, though it was still hard, but she guessed it was easier when she was prepared to no knowing everything.

By the time she was done with her homework it was dark outside. She knew Charlie was gone because she had heard him talking about the hotel just outside town earlier, and the door opened and closed about three hours before. She took off her sweatshirt and took off her bra, and then put on a tanktop.

She sat on the edge of the bed, sitting on her hands, waiting for the footsteps outside her door, waiting for her mother to stop making herself ready for bed.

She remembered years ago when she would sit there waiting, she used to cry because she was so ashamed and so afraid. But now she just stared blankly out of the window. She didn't see anything, but it didn't stop her. She knew her father would be angry because she hadn't closed the blinds, he always was, but it saved her time, it gav her a little more time.

When the water stopped running, and she heard her mother's light footsteps in the hallway she closed her eyes, and took deep slow breathes, willing her heartbeat to slow.

One thing hadn't changed no matter how much time passed- she was still afraid.

It had been a months since her father had forbidden her to talk to her friends, and her friends had started to ignore her too. They were angry, beyong angry, they were royally pissed at her. They'd been friends and shared secrets with her (she never had), and then she dumped them like yesterdays news. They couldn't see that she was hurting. They couldn't see beyond their own rage.

She hadn't talked to Will either, he had seemed to disappear, or he was just avoiding her really, really well. He wasn't anywhere.

Baby, Felicia and Carol had caught on the fact that she was avoiding them after a week, when they realised that she wasn't sick, but in school. She had the bad luck that they stayed behind as well the monday after. She had walked down the hallway, and when she saw them she had droped her books, causing them to turn around and look at her. They looked shocked, and so did she. But she reacted quickly, picked her books up, and ran up the stairs, searching for somewhere to hide.

They hadn't come after her that time, and no time after that. Now she could stand by her locker at the same time as Carol was there, but she avoided it as much as possible because it hurt to be close to them.

But a month had passed, and she had thought it would become easier the more time went, but it had yet to become easier. She had to give it more time.

She had found her own place in the cafeteria, she sat in a corner where she was left alone, only from time to time someone would sit down by her table, but they were always quiet and never talked to her, just sat alone and ate their food.

But after that month it seemed like her friends had gotten enough and realized it wasn't just a phase, and when she sat down to eat her lunch (more like pick on it), Baby, Carol and Felicia sat down too. She looked at them questioningly before returning to her food. Keeping her promise to her father hurt, but if she didn't keep it... life as she knew it was over.

She ignored their stares as she tried to eat her food, but it only grew in her mouth. She forced herself to swallow, but choosed not to eat anymore of the food. They refused to go.

"You can't just ignore us" Baby was the first to say, she sounded hurt, and it tugged on her heart, but she couldn't say anything. She bowed her head lower, repeating the glossery's they'd been given in french class that day over and over in her head.

"Is it because you can't deal with the fact that you weren't the first or second to loose your virginity?" Carol spat, and Georgia felt both anger and disappoinment build up inside of her, she had to shake her head. She didn't speak with them!

"Then what?" Baby asked, and Georgia knew she was close to tears. "You just suddenly didn't want to be our friends anymore?" Georgia looked out of the window and tried to block out their voices.

It gets easier. It gets easier. Itgetseasier. Itgetseasier. Itgetseasieritgetseasieritgetseasier.

"I don't loose anything by telling about what I saw" Felicia said, she had been quiet the whole time, but then she spoke up, said the words she'd wanted to say all month, and Georgia turned to look at her, trying not to let her panic show.

"Please" she sounded desperate, and shook her head "Don't"

"You may not care about us anymore, but we care about you" Baby said, and Georgia turned and looked at her. She knew she should've been gratefull that her friends cared about her, put then she could only panic and pray to god that they were bluffing.

"I don't care" Carol said, and Georgia looked at her, she was sad, angry and disappointed. She stood up, she decided that she needed to get away from there, but Carol had other plans and stood up and walked over to her "You're a selfish bitch, I see that now. All you care about is your good girl status. But I know that you're a slut, and you deserve every punch that has been trown at you" Georgia slapped her before she even noticed that she had raised her hand.

The cafeteria became quiet, and everyone looked at the four friends, or three friends and one ex. No one had noticed the fight that had started a few minutes ago, but the slap cut off all conversations.

As Georgia walked out of the cafeteria, she was shaking with fear, hoping that her father wouldn't hear about this. She heard aplaus in the back of her mind, but she couldn't really hear them. She couldn't believe that she had just slapped one of her best friends, or former best friend. How could she acuse her of that? But she did ignore them because of herself, but her life would bcome hell if her father found out she talked to them. Avoiding them was what saved her.

She sat down on the steps outside the backdoor, hiding her face in her hands. Her hands stung from the slapp, and her lip trembled when she thought of how screwed up her life was. She just wanted some kind of normalcy, but at the moment she had nothing like that. Her father had taken away the one thing that made her sane. She was going to become crazy. Any day now. Any day she would walk into with a gun or something. She chuckled, but then sobered. That was nothing to joke about.

"What's so funny?" she looked to her right frightned, and saw Will sitting there "Are you going to tell me what makes you tick... or not"

"Will..." she started to say, but she didn't know what to say, she was so happy that he was sitting next to her.

"Why did you slap that... Freeman girl? Isn't she your friend?" he raised one of his eyebrows questioningly.

"She pissed me off" she replied angrily.

"How?" he chuckled, and she glared at him playfully.

"I trust you, Will... But I don't trust you enough" she gave him a half smile.

"In time, you'll trust me" he stated, full of himself. "We just have to get to know each other"

"Agreed" she nodded "But... I won't be out of the house so much this summer... just when I go with my dad to LA, New York or something..." she said sadly, but then an idea struck her "My father always sign me up for these youth things during the summer... maybe you can sign up too? They're free... and sometimes they make two or three day trips to lakes and so..."

"Isn't that arranged through the curch?" he asked sceptically "I mean, I'm an atheist"

"Well, partly... but the youth center is helping out, and the city counsil have given them the money to arrange it..." she explained wearily "Please, or else I will be stuck with a bunch of alcoholic teenagers and snobbs" she begged him, and he looked at her. She looked lost and was looking at him like he was the one who would show her the right way, and who was he to say no to her?

"Sure... But I have to ask my dad first" he had barely finished speaking when her arms flew around his neck, and she huged him harder then anyone had ever huged him before. It took a small while for him to work up the curruage to hug her back. He smiled happily when he realized that this girl could become his best friend.

"Thank you... you've saved my summer" he laughed slightly.

"I won't take any credit for that" she shook her head and pulled back, the smile she had on her face looked so innocent, like she was 5 years old again.

"You should" she huged him again, and this time it was gentle, and he didn't hesitate to hug back.

She gave the letter that contained her grades to her mother who inturn muttered something under her breathe that Georgia didn't catch. It was always like this- her mother was the first to read her grades, if she was out of town the letter would remain unopened until she arrived home. The longest she had waited was a month last year, but then she knew she had straigh A's.

Her mothers eyes narrowed as she read the letter, and then looked up at Georgia, and fire almost shot through her eyes.

"What is this?" she yelled, and waved the paper infront of her. Georgia took it and looked through it. Half of them where A's, the rest of the them were B's, and then there was a C in PE. She looked up at her mother and shrank visibly infront of her. "Is this how you re-pay us? We give you a house to stay in, food, money, clothes! We take you places, and you can't even bother to get good grades?" she screamed.

"You have to take care of me, I'm your daughter" she dared herself to say, and earned a slap in her face. She bowed her head and fought tears.

"No, no you're not" her mother got an evil look on her face "You know that whore of a sister your father have?" Georgia looked up at her mother, eyes wide because she knew where this was going "That's who your mother is, your father I have no fucking clue who he is" Georgia knew she was lying, she had to be lying. "Go up to your room and stay there" she backed away and the ran up the stairs "Whore" was the last thing Georgia heard her mother say before she slammed the door shut behind her.

She shook slightly as she sat down on her bed. She wanted to talk to uncle Charlie, he would tell her that aunt Christy wasn't her mother. She had only mer her aunt a few times in her life, but what she remembered of her was a beautiful woman who had become so ugly from doing drugs, smoking, drinking and abuse. Her "aunt" was actually in the hospital again right then. She sighed. Her mother was just saying that because she wanted to get to her. Her mother would never take in her sisters child, her mother would never even think of doing it. She hated her sister.

She turned on her computer and logged on.

Baby: Please GG. Ur rly hurtin us:(
Georgia: Im sry
Baby:Then wer ok?:)
Georgia: I cant
Baby: Wat?
Georgia: Im sry but i cant
Baby: Cant wat?
Georgia:Theres 2 much goin on...
Baby: We can help:'(
Georgia: NO!!
Georgia: Please just leave me alone
Baby: No, y?
Georgia: Ur not goin 2 help me, ur just makin it worse
Baby: Makin wat worse?
Georgia: G2g
Baby: No ur stayin!

She logged off, and told the computer to forget her adress. She planned to never logg on again there, it only made her feel sad because Baby never gave up. Baby was a nice friend, and she felt sad because they never got really close, it was more Baby and Carol, and then Felicia and her just tagged along, but Felicia and Baby knew each other since they were kids, so she was the third wheel. Sure she and Carol were close at times, and she and Felicia had something because Felicia saw through her facade at times, though not often, but ocationally.

Images from when she first met Baby came to her mind, and she couldn't help but smile.

She walked down the hallway, Carol by her side, they looked at everyone who passed them with big smiles, but they were mostly ignored. But suddenly a loud shout caused them to stop.

"You!" a happy girly voice shouted, and everyone looked around, searching for the sorce of the sound. A short but curvy girl with curly black hair, her denim skirt was short, and her pink shirt was several sizes too small (Georgia waited for her to pull a Janet Jacksson). "You two!" she pointed at her and Carol, a big metallic smile formed on her face.

"Us?" Carol said questioningly, and the girl nodded. By this time everyone else had gone back to their own buisness, since nothing dramatic happened.

"Yeah" the girl answered, and nodded several times before smiling at them again. "I'm Baby"

"Carol"

"Georgia.. and uhm.. Baby?" Baby blushed and shook her head.

"Actually it's uhm... Babette... But I kill everyone who calls me that... well not literally..." she rolled her eyes slightly.

"Ok"

"Have you seen a girl about 5'7", blondish hair... uh... thin?" Baby asked, looking around the corridor.

"Uh, yeah" Carol answered, and Carol's face lit up "Lot's of them.." Baby pouted, but suddenly smiled again.

"Felli!" Carol and Georgia looked the way she shouted and saw a girl looking at Baby acusingly, her face high red, and frozen in her spot. After a while she walked over to Baby and hissed loudly at her.

"I told you not to call me Felli!" Baby smirked slightly, and giggled.

"Sorry, couldn't help myself" the girl opened her mouth to say something again, but Baby stoped her "Felicia this is Carol and Georgia, Carol, Georgia- this is Felicia" they all greeted each other awkwardly.

"Now, do you want to do something after school?"

She also remembered that she couldn't come with them after school because she had an appointment with Dr.Riley, but they didn't ignore her the next day, so she became friends with them. And now, soon two years later one of them hated her, one was hurt, and one was on the verge of hating her, and probably feeling hurt too. She hated her father for forcing her to do this, take away the one thing that made her sane.

She thought about the summer, the only thing that would keep her sane was those meetings with the youth group, and if Will didn't sign up she didn't know what to do. She would be stuck with a bunch of gossiping, screaming and flirting teenagers all summer. She groaned at the bare thought of it.

She wondered when her mother would go on an other buisness trip. Her mother was cruel, just as her father, but she showed it more. She would do anything to hurt Georgia. Take the example that she said that Georgia wasn't her daughter. That was typical behaviour of her. Everyone knew she was practicly her mother's mother's miniature version. She looked just like her grandmother, exept for her brown eyes and dark hair. That probably came from her fathers father father.

She sat down on her bed and looked around the room. What was she supposed to do? There was no school, no friends, no computer, the tv was off limits at the moment and she didn't feel like writing or reading. She sighed, and layed down on her bed. Sleep was always welcome.

En historia! "Motsatsen till tillknäppt"

2008-06-08T18:45:49Z

Titel: Motsatsen till tillknäppt
"Rating" (hjärnsläpp): PG13-NC 17 (:$)
Kort beskrivning: Hon är en ung tjej som berättar om sitt korta liv, hur hon strävade länge att inte följa normen och alltid sa precis som hon tyckte. Hon hade huvudet på skaft och var väldigt smart och insiktsfull redan som 7-åring... Det är i jag-form, och hennes tankar och åsikter behöver inte vara mina för hon är en påhittad karaktär!

Anteckningar; Jag vet inte riktigt vad jag tycker om den här egentligen. Jag ville göra något annorlunda från vad jag brukar och ville gå bort ifrån de vanliga karaktärerna som jag brukar skriva. Jag hoppas jag lyckades =) Jag ville även få lite humor i det, men misslyckades ganska mycket, istället är hon en cynisk person... Aja, tolka det som ni vill! Här kommer den!

Några brukade kalla mig knäpp. Helt och hållet knäpp, galen. Jag fick fnatt, skrek på lärarna och struntade i skolan. Därför var jag knäpp. Ordet var fult tyckte jag, jag ville inte vara knäpp, det var så nära ordet ”tillknäppt”. Jag var allt annat än det, och jag hade ingen önskan att vara det. Vem skulle frivilligt vilja vara tyst, bara hålla med och glo på världen med en kossas ögon? För mig var det lika konstigt som att säga att en människa kunde flyga, eller kanske ännu mer. Jag skrek ut mina känslor, jag hatade att hålla inne med något, och jag hatade att andra tyckte man var mer frisk när man inte sa vad man tyckte.
Det var därför de tog mig till en psykisk, eller förlåt, psykolog. Ha-ha, roligt, eller hur? Nej, ärligt talat så var det så jävla sjukt dåligt skämt att jag ville slå till skolsyster Märta som sa det till mig. Det räckte med några fula ord innan hon var tillknäppt igen. Vissa kunde få vara tillknäppta, det är bäst för resten av världen så.
Så folk hade fel när de kallade mig knäpp bara för jag stred emot den svenska normen, om jag varit utlänning hade det nog varit mer okej, eller om min mamma eller pappa var som jag själv. Min familj är tyst, det är det enda som kan beskriva det. Middagarna var olidliga då alla satt och stirrade ner i maten och försökte ignorera mina långa tal om hur sjukt det var att aldrig säga någonting. Då glodde min storasyster på mig och sa att ibland kan det bli för mycket. Ibland kan det vara för lite, svarade jag då.
Egentligen var jag nog bara missförstådd. Det spelade ingen roll om jag sa det till någon då, för det skulle de bara ta som en bekräftelse på något konstigt sätt, att jag erkänner att jag är knäpp. Men jag är inte knäpp, bara motsatsen till tillknäppt. Men folk kallade mig det, i alla fall tills jag fick ett utbrott och sa att om de kallade mig knäpp en gång till skulle de få se på knäpp. Efter det blev jag galen. Galen passade bättre, eftersom det inte liknade något ord som knäppt gjorde, tillknäppt. Fula ord, tyckte jag, de borde vara svordomar, en av de värsta sorterna.
Jag tror jag föddes i fel kultur, eller det är nog ingenting att tro om. Om jag fötts någon annanstans, något ställe där det inte var fel att vara känslosam och lite galen, så skulle jag vara den som passade in och de tillknäppta människorna skulle stå utanför och glo som kossor. Jag gillar inte kossor. Mina lärare gillade inte mig, jag tyckte för mycket.
Lektioner med mig blev olidliga för lärare, eftersom jag ifrågasatte allt, och hade ingen riktig önskan att lära mig vad 2+3 blev, eftersom jag själv tyckte att de inte hade någon riktig betydelse. Jag var sex år och hade huvudet på ett allt för kraftigt skaft redan. Lärare lade mig på andra lärare, jag hade lektioner med en särklass, men till och med där tog jag för stor plats. Min galenhet blev grunden till hatet mot mig, som egentligen inte hade någon bra grund, för jag var aldrig riktigt elak. Jag sa bara vad jag tyckte, ibland (eller varje dag) skrek jag kanske, men aldrig sa jag något som inte var sant, och var aldrig elak bara för att vara elak. Jag kunde vara snäll också, väldigt snäll om de var snälla mot mig och alla andra.
De misstolkade mina gärningar, och trodde bara jag ville alla illa, och missade de stunder jag satt med mobboffren och var snäll emot dem, de ville inte se att jag var god jag med ibland. Det var lättare att kategorisera mig, paketera mig i en dammig låda och ställa in mig i ett hörn, fast det tillät jag inte såklart. Jag ville inte vara någon som tynade bort.
Stackars lärare som var tvungna enligt lag att lära mig.
Så det tog mig till psykologen och satte mig i en stol där han frågade mig om jag var lycklig. Aldrig hade jag varit mer förödmjukad, aldrig hade någon kränkt mig som honom kändes det som. Ja, svarade jag honom, för att även om många trodde jag var olycklig för att jag ständigt påpekade andras fel. De trodde det var en undanmanöver för mina egna problem. Så jag svarade; ja, för jag vågar. Han såg på mig med sneda ögon, frågande. Han hade aldrig träffat på en insiktsfull tolvåring förut.
Med sammanbitna käkar tog jag mig igenom samtalet, att vara tyst var inte ett alternativ för det var vad de ville att jag skulle vara. När jag kom ut ur dörren så såg jag på mina föräldrar uttråkat och frågade om det var nödvändigt att jag måste gå igenom det här, för inte skulle psykologen säga något annat än vad de redan visste; jag var knäpp. Men jag var tvungen att fortsätta gå, för jag var under arton och psykologen tyckte jag skulle behöva prata av mig. Då skrattade mina föräldrar och sa att de gör jag gott gratis hemma, och vi vände på klacken och försvann. Jag återvände inte till psykologen med de sneda ögonen. Inte kunde mina föräldrar förstå att han visste bäst, och att det var precis det jag behövde, för med åren blev det värre och värre. Mina utbrott blev fler då jag kom in i puberteten, och jag färgade håret grönt, blått, rött och svart, gick i slitna kläder som knappt täckte min kropp. Pappa sa ofta att jag såg ut som en hora, men inte brydde jag mig, aldrig skulle jag falla för den tillknäppta normen. Med kladdig mascara och tydliga eyeliner sträck klev jag ut genom dörren varje dag med en cigarett i munnen, högklackade boots med skaft som nådde upp till knäet. Folk såg på mig, folk kallade mig galen.
Ingen vågade röra mig utan tillåtelse, och det gav mig makt och förtjusning. Jag var självsäker, och många killar ville ha mig just därför, och det kunde inte de tillknäppta koss-ögda tjejerna förstå. Vid tolv års ålder fick jag min första orgasm (var inte löjlig nu, fortsätt läsa) mina egna fingrar kunde mer än vad jag trodde, och jag var glad att berätta detta för världen. Vid tolv år tyckte många tjejer att jag var äcklig, det var bara killar som skulle onanera. Vid tretton års ålder förlorade jag min oskuld till en trettioåring. Det kändes rätt, bättre än en fjantig liten tretton åring som inte ens kunde hitta hålet. Efter det rök det nedåt.
Droger, alkohol, fester, massor av skit som det.
Vid sextonårs ålder var jag död. Föll ner för trappan när jag var för full för att gå i mina egna skor. Bröt nacken och poff så var livet över.
Kanske blev folk lättade, eller så kanske blev de ledsna. Jag dog som den galna tjejen för dem, för mig dog jag som tjejen som aldrig bröt mot normen.

Bring the clouds in (4/?)

2008-05-26T14:37:25Z

Title: Bring the clouds in (3/?)
Rating: PG-13 (strong)
Summary: On the outside she was like everyone else, but perfect. But on the inside, behind four walls, she kept a secret she never wanted anyone to know; she was far from perfect.
A/N: I've posted this for feedback, since this is a rought draft, I've just looked through it a few times. So I would absolutely love you if you posted a comment with something that you disliked/liked or; would like to change, didn't understand. Anything fitting into any box, so I can continue with this; I'm stuck at chapter 13. I won't get offended, well I will if you post obnoxious comments, but I expect you to respect me... I just want to know your honest opinion.

Chapter summary: It's the day of the party and everything goes horribly wrong.

"Stupid"

Chapter four - Mistakes are made

She sat in Carol's room, the tv was on again, showing the most stupid movie ever. She watched it halfheartly as she ate a marsmellow. Carol had decided that what she was going to wear wasn't sluty enough, and was trowing everything out of her closet while Baby watched with mild intrest from her place at the floor, ducking to avoid being hit by low rider jeans and tubetops. Felicia sat next to her, emptying the bowl of popcorn as she watched the movie, and occationally Carol.

Georgia looked at the clock and saw it closing in on half past eight, and decided to get ready. She stood up and grabbed her bag and walked towards the bathroom, ignoring the protests of her friends that she could change infront of them, she had nothing to hide. The problem was that she did.

She took up the dark lowrider jeans she had brought with her, and put them on slowly, wincing everytime she accidently pushed a bruise, and sighed contently when the tight jeans were in place, and took off her shirt and bra, putting on a straplessbra and then a plain pink strapless top that was only tight above her chest.

She looked at herself in the mirror, brown critical eyes looked back as she took her curly hair out of the scrungie and ran her fingers through the soft curls a few times before deciding that she looked ok enough to be seen, and opened the bathroom door and stepped into Carol's room that was turned completly upside down.

Carol had found something to wear- a short denim skirt (a really short like I can't bend over the slighest bit because someone will see my but) and a really tight tube top that told everyone that she did not have a bra on. Georgia nodded half approvingly, she was glad the attention would be somewhere else tonight.

Baby had on her usual attire- a short skirt, but not as short as Carol's, and a low V-neck that showed her cleavage. The only thing that was diffrent from her usual attire was the fishnet stockings, which caused an eyeroll from Georgia.

Felicia wasn't dressed like them at all, she had on blue washed jeans, not speacially tight, but still flattering to her thin frame, and a green t-shirt with a man with an afro on it. Felicia loved that t-shirt.

"Make up time!" Baby announced and pulled up a plastic bag filled with make up and but it on Carol's overfiled desk, and pushed everything off it to make room for it. "Felicia's first!" Felicia walked reluctantly up to Baby and sat on Carol's desk and waited for the tranformment to come.

Felicia turned out great, and so did Carol who was next, though Carol turned out even more slut-ish, but that was what she was aiming for. Then it was Georgia's turn, and she nervously sat down opposit Baby and hoped that she wouldn't do too much since she knew that too much make up would draw all eyes to her.

She started with putting her hair up in scrungies and and started to put on foundation. As she reached her neck she suddenly stoped and looked at something close to her ear.

"What is that... is that a hickey!" she exclaimed, pulling Georgia's head to the side so she could get a closer look. "You've got a hickey!" she suddenly felt both warm and cold at the same time, and brought her hand up to where the hickey supposedly where.

"I do not!" she protested, and looked at Baby like she was crazy. "How could I possibly get a hickey?" Oh! That one's easy!

"I don't know, but my eyes don't lie" she stared Baby in the eyes and shook her head.

"Well it's impossible, now finish my make up or I'll do it myself" she said irritated, and closed her eyes as Baby continued, she didn't want to look at them right now.

"Right. But you don't have to get all angry about it" now Baby was irritated and confused, and harshly put on Georgia's make up, and then sat down next to Felicia when she was done.

"Thanks" she said and pulled out the scrungies out of her hair, and grabed her hair brush and started to comb it.

It was around nine thirty when they left Carol's house, and walked the short distance to where Ron's house where.

The party had started already when they got there, the music was loud, and as soon as Georgia stepped inside she wanted to turn around and go back to Carol's place and sleep until she was twentyone. She longed for twentyone.

She was given a glass of something quickly, and took a sip off it. She grimaced, but continued to drink it anyway.

Carol found Vicman somehow, and it barely took thirty minutes until both of them where on the dancefloor dancing an X-rated dance that caused both her and Felicia to blush.

Felicia and Georgia found a corner where they stood and swayed slightly to the music, neither of them really wanted to be there really, so they just stood there watching Baby and Carol making a fool out of themselves until a crowd of guys and girls blocked their sight for a few moments, and when they got back their sight of the dance floor- they were gone. Carol and Vicman had left the dance floor.

A guy in Junior year walked towards them with his eyes set on Georgia, he walked a little bit too far and spilled his drink down the front of her tubetop. She glared at him as she pushed past him in the search of a bathroom, ignoring the laughs of guys around the room, an amused scoofs from girls.

She found a bathroom on the second floor, and rolled out a big peice of paper and started to try to dry the top a little, a bit successfull, but the smell still lingered causing her to give a disgusted frown. After ten minutes she left the bathroom and started to walk down the hall.

"Quit playing around Carry" came a voice from behind one of the doors in the hallway, and she stoped to listen.

"My name is Carol" she heard Carol giggle, and a low 'whatever' was heard just before Carol moaned. She felt sick. She started to bang on the door, and pull on the handle.

"Taken!" Vicman yelled, and Carol giggled.

"Carol! It's Georgia!" she banged on the door a little more "Carol! Don't do this! You will only regrett it!" she heard Carol giggle, but the giggle turned into Vicman moaning. "Please Carol!" she pleaded, suddenly the door jerked open, and there stood Vicman with his jeans fly open and his shirt gone.

"Eitheir join in on the fun or leave, we're not going to stop" he said, and she looked over his shoulder and saw Carol lying on the bed, her tubetop gone and so was her skirt, her bra was halfway off, and she had scratch marks all over her body, and she smiled foolishly at Georgia. The door was then shut and locked, and she was left banging on the door for an other minute until she gave up. She didn't want to play Carol's mother anymore. She'd done what she can.

She walked down stairs and took the first glass that was filled with alcohol she could find. It didn't take long for the boose to get her drunk, and soon she was dancing with random guys on the dance floor, laughing at pretty much everything they did. It was a liberated feeling, it made her feel happy and care free, it made her think that she could do anything.

She laughed as a guy pulled her against his chest and started to feel her up, and leaned her head against his shoulder. Soon an other guy tagged along and stood infront of her, pressing her up against both of them. She noticed their smirks and glances at each other, and knew something wasn't right, and she stoped dancing.

"Hey.. this isn't fun... I-I need to go" she slurred, and started to push the guys off of her.

"But hey, it's just starting to get fun" one guy said, she didn't know if it was the one with the brown hair or the bald one.

"I know I know I know" she slurred, but she didn't really know what either of them was talking about. "But... I-I need to go... I need to use the toilet" she suddenly said, feeling nauseus.

"That's ok... we'll take you to the bathroom" one of them said, and she nodded, that was ok. She followed them towards the stair, she didn't really register anything until she saw Felicia rushing up to her, yelling things she didn't understand. She pushed the guys away from her, and huged her hard, saying something about being worried.

"I need to go to the bathroom" she said and Felicia nodded, leading her up the stairs towards the bathroom where she had dried her top before. She held her hair away from her face as she trew up. She said nothing and waited until she was done and then held out a glass filled with water and told her to rinse and spit. She did so, and was then given a glass of cold water to drink.

Georgia looked out of the bathroom door and down the hallway.

"Carol's down there... Hi Carol!" she smiled cheerily and waved towards the closed door. And then looked down at the glass she was drinking "Hey!" she yelled upset and looked at Felicia "HEY!"

"What?" Felicia asked patiently, and looked down at Georgia who was sitting on the floor and waved at her to get closer to her so she could whisper something.

"I shouldn't drink this" she giggled.

"What? You can't drink water?" she frowned.

"Oh! Water! I like water, I can drink water" she ranted and looked down the hallway again as a door opened and Vicman sneeked out of the room where Carol was in, and she started to stand up, it took a while, but she was soon standing on unsteady legs and walking down the hallway towards the room.

She walked into the room and saw Carol sleeping under the covers. She pouted and walked up to her, crawled across the bed and curled into a fetal position with her head resting on Carol's stomach.

"Stupid" she muttered, a little more sober, and glanced at Felicia who was standing in the door way, looking in at the sight of the two of them, she looked forlorn and sighed. Georgia felt a tear slid down her face when she truly realized what her bestfriend had done.

Georgia stood up and picked up her clothes and pulled down the cover from Carol's body and started to dress her, muttering words as she did so. She then walked out of the room and came back with a glass of water and splashed it on her face.

It took twenty minutes before Carol woke up, and when she did she looked at Georgia confused as she held out a hand towards her.

"Let's find Baby and we'll leave"

They found Baby only a little bit tipsy standing in a corner, and they headed home. Georgia and Carol needed support from Baby and Felicia as they walked the short distans home to Carol and up the stairs. Carol took her place infront of the toilet bowl, and Georgia laid down on the floor and stared up at the ceiling.

"Baby!" Georgia suddenly yelled "Ba-aby-y!" Baby sat down next to her and started to stroke her hair. "You're a virgin, right?" Baby nodded confused, and Georgia reached her hand up to pat her face "Good!" she smiled "Stay that way" she said serious again "Sex is bad... really bad" she said matter of factly "It only get you pregnant and gives you diseases" she looked straight into Baby's hazel eyes "But you're good" she sat up "I need to trow up" she rushed into the bathroom, leaving a confused Baby staring at a sleepy Felicia.

Half of the night Carol and Georgia spent in the bathroom, and then the four of them fell asleep on Carol's huge bed.

Felicia woke up first and decided to clean up a bit in Carol's room since she hated messy places. She started with Carol's desk and put Baby's make up back in the plastic bag, and then started to put Carol's clothes back in her closet. She did all of this quietly so she wouldn't wake her friends up.

She noticed that they all had slept without the covers on, so she started to pull the covers up their body's when she noticed something on Georgia. Georgia's top had ridden up and exposed her stomach. Her stomach had a nasty yellowing bruise. Felicia gasped quietly. The bruise wasn't big, but it probably had been. She pulled the top up to see where it started, and noticed a fresh bruise. Her eyes went wide.

She sat down on the bed in shock, and blinked a few times, pinched herself to see that she wasn't dreaming. She looked over at Georgia again, the bruises were still there, Georgia opened her eyes lazily and looked at her, and then looked at the shocked Felicia.

"What?" she mumbled, and started to sit up, and saw that her top was too high up. She quickly pulled it down and looked at Felicia to see if she noticed, and realized she had. "Felicia..." she started, and looked down at Baby and Carol, she shook her head and looked at her pleadingly. "Don't"

"Georgia..." Georgia knew she was going to try to talk some sense into her, so she sat up, collected her things as Felicia watched.

"If you say a word about this... then you're not my friend anymore" she walked out of Carol's bedroom, and walked home, even though it was only eight thirty and she had a hangover. She shut the door quietly, and watched as one of her neightbours walked his dog, she smiled and waved.

She got home to a quiet house and slowly climbed the stairs to her room, and shut it safely behind her.

She trew herself on her bed and willed the world she knew to disappear, she willed herself to close her eyes and dream of her childhood. Her childhood was happy, like many others, her familly was normal and everyone was living at home. But that changed when everyone had left and she was alone with her father. Left alone with a monster she loved. At first he was the perfect father, but slowly he changed, she didn't even remember when she started to fear her father as much as she loved him. She guessed it was when she was around eleven.

She hoped her father didn't smell the alcohol on her breathe, he would kill her. No, not kill, hurt her as much as possible. She would be able to walk and function, but just, one kick or hit away from being crippled for days.

She fell asleep, and when she woke up hours later she hurried to shower and brush her teeth, then she went downstairs and prepared breakfast for her father, the usual saturday breakfast: bacon, beans, egg and toast. She liked cooking somewhat, it wasn't what she would do for a living, but it was relaxing.

Around ten she walked into her fathers study and put the plate down infront of him. He looked at the food for a few seconds befor he took the knife and fork and began eating.

"When did you get home?" he asked sending her a cold glare.

"Around nine" he set the fork and knife down and looked at her, waiting for an explanation. "Felicia saw my bruises on my stomach..." she explained, and her fathers mouth went into a thin line.

"What?" he barked and stood up from his chair, and walked around his desk and stood infront of her.

"My... my top rode up when I slept... and she noticed it..." she looked at the ground.

"You're... idiot!" he yelled, his face was redder then she'd ever seen it, and she visibly shrank infront of him. "You do realize that you've risked everything!" her lip started to tremble with fear.

"I'm sorry, da-" her sentence was cut short by a hard slap to her face, she didn't even bother to turn her face back to look at her father, just bowed her head while looking to the side.

"You will not speak to them ever again!" he yelled, and she felt tears starting to spill from her eyes. She closed them and hoped her father didn't see how much this affected her, then it would just get worse. "Are we understood?" she nodded. "Good, I don't know what you see in them anyway" he shook his head, and sat down in his chair again. "If I ever catch you talking to them again, I swear to god you will be home schooled, I will take your computer away, I will take your phone away, you will not be able to leave this house without one of us!" he threatned her, and she knew his threath was for real, she didn't want to be home schooled because then her father would be able to do anything to her and get away with it. "Are we understood?" she nodded "Are.We.Understood?"

"Yes, daddy" her voice was weak, and he smirked because he had found a new way to hurt her.

"Good, now clean the livingroom before your mom gets back" she nodded quickly and left for the livingroom.

She cleaned off the coffeetable so it was free from coffee stains and stains from alcohol, picked up newspapers that were scattered around the room, vacumed the room. Just when she was going to clean the cushions on the couch the doorbell rung. She walked slowly to the hall, and saw her mirror image. She looked like hell- her eyes were puffy and red and her cheek had taken an angry red shade. She sighed and opened the door. There stood Felicia.

"Georgia, oh my god... you have to-" her sentence was cut short when she slammed the door shut and locked it.

Felicia continued to ring the bell, she let it ring for a few minutes, but then got anoyed by the ringing and grabed a towel and tape and taped the bell so it would ring when she pressed. Felicia started to shout instead, but she put on the vacume and it drowned the sound of Felicia's shouts. Until she stood outside the livingroom window. She gritted her teeth and walked to the door.

"Leave me the hell alone!" she yelled at Felicia, shut the door again and locked it. She put away the vacum, and went into her room and flopped down on her bed and cried.

She couldn't believe her father could do this to her, he was supposed to love her and think of her best, not what could hurt her the most!

Bring the clouds in (3/?)

2008-05-23T18:41:49Z

Chapter summary: Georgia starts forgetting, but her day with Will is hard to forget.

"She suddenly fel dizzy, the hallways started to sway"

Chapter three - The lies keep coming

She had gotten home five minutes to six, eaten dinner with her father and hurried to do her homework so that she could go to bed and fall asleep, cause she knew that when she fell asleep she would be back at the lake with Will, and even though they only sat there quiet most of the time, she felt a bond form between them. He was her first friend, her best friend, even though she had only met him two times. She thought of when they sat in that booth at Burger King, and how nothing seemed to matter there, and at the lake how comfterable they were together.

And that night she didn't lay awake chasing shaddows, listening for sounds, she fell asleep straight away and spent her night by the lake, waiting for Will to show up. He didn't.

She woke up the next morning disappointed, and felt that she missed him. She ached for his company, to just sit next to him and pretend that she didn't exist.

She got ready for school. She thought about that night, Victor was going to be there, she really hoped he was going to change his mind and go to that other party, she didn't want Carol with him. She saw her father walk outside her bedroom door as she got dressed, and glanced at the fresh bruise on her ribs.

She tried to remember what she forced herself to learn the day before, but everything came in bits, it wasn't in a flow like it always had been. She let out a frustrated scream, the only things that stuck was the things she did with Will, how he smiled, how he talked, what he said, but she was amazed that she didn't like him as in "like like" him, but everything was purely friendly. The only thing she longed for was to share secrets with him, wanted to know everything about him, and she wanted to save him.

Her whole body was soar, and she noticed this as she walked down the stairs, her legs shook slightly under her small weight, and she had to take a hold of the railing so she wouldn't fall. Her father stood at the bottom of the stairs and watched her, a smile playing on his face. She hated him and loved him all the same, and the confusion made her want to cry, but the tears stuck in her troath. She continued down the stairs until she stood beside her father.

"I'll drive you to school today" he said with a smile. She hated when he drove her to school, she had to act perfect daughter and say that she love him and kiss his cheek and all that, she preffered walking, but also knew that she would be exhausted if she walked to school today. So she nodded and agreed to the ride.

She sat down in their expensive car and buckled up, her father watched her, not letting his eyes stray for even a moment. When he was around, he was in control, and he liked to show it. He put the AC on the coldest, and she pulled her arms around herself and shivered.

"The resturant in New York is having a few troubles, so you and I will go up there next weekend and check it out" he told her, it wasn't a question, she had to go and play the perfect spoiled daughter that insists to go with him because she can't stand a moment without him. She hated going to New York, they had to stay in a hotel, and most of the time they stayed there all day watching "tv", but one day atleast they spent shoping for him and her, they never went anywhere without coming back with new clothes.

"Ok" was all she said, and fixed her eyes on where the school would first appear from the road. She thought about the capital city's in Asia and Europe, but she only remembered Paris and London, Asia was far from her mind. "Daddy?" she asked in the inncent voice she knew he couldn't resist. "I can't remember" she tried to sound innocent when she said it, but she was scared and it shone through.

"What do you mean?" he asked anoyed and looked at her breifly.

"I can't remember the capital city's in Europe and Asia" he stoped at a red light and turned to look at her.

"What?" capital city's was one thing she was the best at, geography was her best subject, and for the first time in her life she saw that he was worried about her, but it disappeared within a second "Stop messing around" he gritted his teeth, and she knew he didn't believe her. She looked out of the window again. She knew she wasn't lying, she had bumped her head yesterday and now she couldn't remember what she always used as a defense mechanism, the soothing words of capital city's in country's she had yet to visit, in country's she could seek refuge in.

He stoped outside her school, and she reached for the door handle, but her fathers hand stoped her.

"If you speak one word about these bruises I swear to god you won't be able to walk in a month" he said this with a smile so people outside wouldn't notice that he was threatening her, and she smiled and nodded.

"I promise" he let go off her, and she reached over and kissed his cheek. After that she left the car quickly and hurried into the school. It was 8.17, so she had some time to get to her locker and then get to frenchclass. She saw Carol standing at their lockers and looked at her with an expectant smile. She smiled back, and walked a little faster, ignoring the pain in her chest as she pulled her bag closer to her chest.

"GG!" she half yelled with a goofy smile on her smile, Georgia rolled her eyes but smiled all the same. "I can't believe it's tonight!" she squeeled.

"Me neither" she replied with a sigh, and opened he locker, for a moment she didn't remember her lock combination, but then her hand opened it on auto, and she sucked in a breathe, this could be a bit harder then she thought.

"Are you alright?" she didn't hear the question at first, but after two or three seconds she answered.

"Yes, I'm fine, just excited for tonight" and that caused Carol to start her famoust ramble, and she tuned her out and wondered what else she had forgotten, but forgotten that she had forgotten.

She looked down the hallway and looked at the students who filled the hallway with laughs, screams and a high mumble of all voices combined. She saw Will standing by a locker further down the hallway, looking directly at her, she smiled at him, looked away for only a second so she could close her locker, but when she looked back he was gone. She couldn't stop the disppointed sigh to leave her lips, and looked at Carol who was still talking. They started walking towards where Felicia and Baby had their lockers.

She suddenly fel dizzy, the hallways started to sway, she closed her eyes, but everything was still swaying. She opened her eyes again and saw Carol looking at her, she was saying something, but it sounded so far away, and she lost her footing as a new wave of dizzyness hit her, and she fell to the ground, and everything turned black.

She opened her eyes and saw white. She blinked at the brighness of it, and turne her head an saw a desk, a sink, shelves and cupboards. The nurses office she quickly noted, and turned her head to look at the white ceiling again.

She breathed in and out a few times before she slowly sat up. It was 8.31 now. She looked down on herself. Her clothes were a big mess, she wondered why. She saw that her skirt had ridden up a bit too high and showed off one of the bruises that she had spent so hard finding a skirt to cover up that morning.

The nurse walked in, she was fifty something, she was shubby and her hair was red, long and braided and had big green glasses. She smiled at Georgia, and sat down on the chair that was next to the bed.

"You fainted Ms.Grey" she stated, and Georgia nodded dumbly, and looked at a poster on how to keep viruses away, and then back at the nurse. "Why did you do that Ms.Grey?" Georgia frowned and shrugged, wasn't this her job, why was she asking her to do it for her?

"I felt dizzy" the nurse nodded as if it was vauable information.

"I've looked through your school file and I noticed that you've been underweight for quite sometime now, but it's starting to reach a critical point now" she opened her file on the small table next to the bed Georgia was sitting on. "I also noticed bruises on your legs, stomach, back, arms and in the back of your head" she stated, and looked at Georgia with a blank gaze that seemed to look through her, and she knew that she wouldn't believe anything but the truth. So she shrugged. "If you loose anymore weight I must send a note to your doctor so he can look you over, and from there decide if you need treetment"

"Wait? Treetment? For what?"

"For anorexia or bulimia, something like that you must have"

"I do not have an eatingdisorder!" she protested, shocked that the nurse woul even suggest it. "I'm perfectly content with my body the way it is!" the nurse took off her glasses and looked at her for a few seconds before she spoke again.

"You need to gain weight or you will stop getting your period, and you won't be able to have your own children, you will die early, you will constantly be tired and cold" she stoped and looked at her "The list can go on forever" Georgia nodded and huged her body. "Now let's move on to those bruises I found" her eyes turned to sympathetic "Where did you get those?" he voice was small and caring, not cold and stating facts like she did before.

Georgia didn't answer, she remembered the warning her father had given her that morning, the warning he gave her at least two times a week, and she also knew that she couldn't lie to this nurse, so she only stared at her.

"I get that you want to continue to be popular, and don't want to be vunurable, but this can't continue Ms.Grey, this has to stop" she continued to stare. The next half an hour was filled with the nurses plea's to get more deseprate, and Georgia became more and more closed off. The nurse had to let her leave after an half an hour, and Georgia hurried to class.

She got the test she had done earlier that week and was pleased to see that she had aced it. But the bliss only lasted a few seconds because she got the glossery's she'd done the day before, and saw that she had gotten a D, the teacher gave her a look, and she looked down and sat down in her seat.

She couldn't believe this! She had gotten a D! Her first D ever... she had ruined her straight A, she had to concentrate more! But she couldn't hear a word that was coming out of the teachers mouth. She was talking about a verb that she was putting in a sentence that suggested something was going to happen in the future, she knew she should know this already, but she couldn't remember it. She couldn't understand it.

She walked out of the classroom fifteen minutes later without learning anything new. She looked down the hallway and saw Felicia and Baby standing there, she walked over to them and gave them both a smile.

"GG! You totally scared us earlier!" Baby exclaimed and huged her hard. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah... I was just running on empty... you don't have anything on you, do you?" she asked them, silently hoping for an apple.

"I have a banana" Felicia offered.

"I'm allergic to banana's" Georgia sad sadly, but shrugged her shoulders, she would just have to wait until lunch.

"You have to eat something, I mean if you fainted because of it..." Baby said concerned, something that she rarely was- if ever.

"I'm fine" she said thruthfully, she had been running on empty (litterly running) many times before without fainting, so she had no idea why she fainted now. "I need to hurry to class"she turned away from them and hurried away to her locker.

She avoided them all day, even at lunch- she didn't eat lunch because she knew she would run into them there, so she sat in the library trying to understand everything she had been teached that day, and realized that she only understood half of what she had written.

Will suddenly appeared and sat down next to her, and looked at her with those coulorfull eyes, the concern was evident.

"Here... I brought a sandwhich" he pulled a large sandwhich out from under his shirt, and looked out from the booth they were sitting in and glanced where the librarian was supposed to sit, and saw that she was asleep with a book resting on her chest.

"Thanks" she said and took a bite from it. And smiled at how good it tasted. "This is good" she said with her whole mouth full of food, he laughed, and nodded.

"I know" he watched her eat. She ate three more bites before she lost her appitite and put the sandwhich down.

"I can't remember, Will" she looked at him, scared, and he looked back, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't remember the worlds capital city's... french verbs... math... nothing" she looked at him "I remember the basic... but... I used to be so good at it!" she sounded frustrated, and he caught on it immedietly.

"Hey it'll come back" he comforted her.

"But I need it now! It's only a month left of school! I don't have time for it!" she reached for a book and started to read again.

"Why don't you remember?" he asked suddenly. She looked at him and shook her head, he couldn't know.

"I-I hit my head" she mumbled to the book, he grabed it and slammed it shut.

"How?" he didn't believe her.

"I tripped" she answered.

"I don't believe you" her mouth went into a thin line and she stood up.

"Can't you just leave it alone?" she picked up the books and pushed herself past him.

"Grey" he said in a warning tone. "This can't continue, you know that don't you"

"I know a lot of things Will, a lot... and this isn't that easy" she turned around and walked quickly out of the library.

When she collected her things after the last class Carol found her. She stood by her locker and just stared at her for three minutes, waiting for her to say something, but she ignored her until she couldn't take it any longer.

"What?" she asked irritated, the lack of food was getting to her, and she slammed her locker shut.

"Are you still coming tonight?" she turned to look at Carol, for a few moments she said nothing. She rather wanted to go that party then be at home with her father. She had enough bruises for a week.

"Mmhm" she looked down at the floor. "Are we going to your place first?" she asked shyly.

"Yeah, we'll eat dinner around six and then around eight were going to get ready... and around nine- ten we're leaving" she nodded. "So be there around four" that was in an hour.

"I don't know... can I come around five?" Carol sighed but nodded.

"So you're not going to ignore us?"

"I'm sorry Carol... I'm just... sorry" she would've done everything to tell her best friends what was really going on, but that would risk everything.

"It's ok" she said and smiled. "Can we walk home together?" she asked.

"My dad is picking me up.. so no I can't" Carol nodded, and they started to walk out of the school.

"How are you feeling?" Carol asked when they walked out of the school and out on the schoolyard.

"Good actually" she confessed. "You don't have to worry about me Carol... Sometimes the body just... shuts down" she smiled as she scanned the parkinglot for her fathers silver car. "I'm fine" she knew she was far from fine, but in that contex she was.

"Good, I'll see you around five then?" Georgia nodded, and watched as Carol half ran down the road, and then slowed down as she was out of the gates, and walked towards their neighbourhood.

Georgia sat down on the stonestair, and watched the parkinglot empty of cars. She knew her father was late, he always was late when it came to her, but he would always say he was busy to someone outside the familly, inside the familly everyone knew he just wanted to embarress her.

She sat there for twenty minutes, even a few teachers started to walk out of the school, but after twenty minutes her fathers car pulled up, and he honked the horn for her to hurry up. She ran down the stairs towards the car opened the door quickly and sat down.

"Dr.Riley is a little late anyway..." he said, and she nodded numbly. She hated him she decided.

"House" Icons

2008-05-19T18:05:33Z

8 Icons of Jennifer Morrison, Hugh Laurie, Jessie Spencer and Omar Epps (from House M.D